do you ever just sit down in front of your computer - and open up a doc or a blog and look at that blank page and wish that you could say something amazing? something that will inspire people to take action? something that will make people care a little more? give a little more?
i do.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
a plan
i hope i'm back on track with the film. i actually have a plan in mind now. here it is.
mornings at caribou to work on the jarka texting animations (or the occasional blog :) about 7.5 hours per week.
lunch hour will be spent on all my other obligations:
chazonAfrica.org
melonAfrica.org
somaliapeace.org
bravaNutra
that's 5 hours per week
evenings editing the film and creating the art for the feature animations - i need to stay up later. this is the toughest challenge - i'm up at 4 am everyday. but i'm going to commit to 4 hours per evening - 20 hours per week.
weekends: 10 hrs of building renovation there's two hours of driving in there. leave by 7 am - home by 5pm - - 20 hrs per weekend.
2 hours of editing in the morning 5 when i get home.
6 hours of sleep per night
NO FREE TIME:
41.5 hours of film work per week
5 hours of outside web/project work per week
20 hours of building restoration per week
48 hours of mayo clinic work
42 hours of sleep
that's 156.5 hours per week - hmm... there are 168 hours per week - may have to rethink the plan, but for now this is it :)
mornings at caribou to work on the jarka texting animations (or the occasional blog :) about 7.5 hours per week.
lunch hour will be spent on all my other obligations:
chazonAfrica.org
melonAfrica.org
somaliapeace.org
bravaNutra
that's 5 hours per week
evenings editing the film and creating the art for the feature animations - i need to stay up later. this is the toughest challenge - i'm up at 4 am everyday. but i'm going to commit to 4 hours per evening - 20 hours per week.
weekends: 10 hrs of building renovation there's two hours of driving in there. leave by 7 am - home by 5pm - - 20 hrs per weekend.
2 hours of editing in the morning 5 when i get home.
6 hours of sleep per night
NO FREE TIME:
41.5 hours of film work per week
5 hours of outside web/project work per week
20 hours of building restoration per week
48 hours of mayo clinic work
42 hours of sleep
that's 156.5 hours per week - hmm... there are 168 hours per week - may have to rethink the plan, but for now this is it :)
Thursday, August 11, 2011
it's been a great two weeks
i took off some time from work to get some editing done on the film and also (in theory) to close on a building i'm buying. it needs a ton of work but it'll be fun :)
i was suppose to close on the building on aug 1st - the first day of my vacation and that didn't work out. it's a good thing though as i really needed to get the film editing under way... and i have had solid full days of editing which have really put me back in africa. and it's a great place to be and the film is coming out quite well - i have plenty of b-roll and the comments from folks are amazing. how to make it into a story "the story" of "IVing" is the challenge.
i'm taking this morning off from the editing as i need to do a final walk thru of the property at 12:30 - then the closing is at 2:00 - then i'm going straight to the property to build a couple of temp. walls. the plan is for the building to serve as a film / photo / art studio. it's perfect for that with some work... i just didn't feel comfortable sitting at home - i'm at panera and will work on the annimation sequences for the typed correspondance between myself and one particular volunteer :) since we didn't meet in africa her entire role in the film is going to be animated.
my goal is to have the film completed by dec 15th - it's looking unrealistic but this vacation time has helped - i still need to do a lot of filming even on top of the annimation work (i will now need to do that by myself :( also - the filming of the "farewll circuit" or at least a few of the bands members/family. incredible story there - and speaking of the farewell circuit i got a bunch of new music from them and it's so awesome - music is such a huge part of the success of any film, and this music is top notch! well enough blogging time to jump into annimating jarks and my letters!
i was suppose to close on the building on aug 1st - the first day of my vacation and that didn't work out. it's a good thing though as i really needed to get the film editing under way... and i have had solid full days of editing which have really put me back in africa. and it's a great place to be and the film is coming out quite well - i have plenty of b-roll and the comments from folks are amazing. how to make it into a story "the story" of "IVing" is the challenge.
i'm taking this morning off from the editing as i need to do a final walk thru of the property at 12:30 - then the closing is at 2:00 - then i'm going straight to the property to build a couple of temp. walls. the plan is for the building to serve as a film / photo / art studio. it's perfect for that with some work... i just didn't feel comfortable sitting at home - i'm at panera and will work on the annimation sequences for the typed correspondance between myself and one particular volunteer :) since we didn't meet in africa her entire role in the film is going to be animated.
my goal is to have the film completed by dec 15th - it's looking unrealistic but this vacation time has helped - i still need to do a lot of filming even on top of the annimation work (i will now need to do that by myself :( also - the filming of the "farewll circuit" or at least a few of the bands members/family. incredible story there - and speaking of the farewell circuit i got a bunch of new music from them and it's so awesome - music is such a huge part of the success of any film, and this music is top notch! well enough blogging time to jump into annimating jarks and my letters!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
better human beings make better anythings :)
i have recently purchased a new iPad, the aps for filmmaking are so cool and it's so much cheaper then buying all these other devices. in one small lightweight device i now have a clapboard, a story-boarding drawing pad, a telepromter and so much more... it's actually pretty amazing. so when i was purchasing the iPad Apple asked would i like to "engrave" something on my iPad? it was free and i thought why not? i thought about many different things to put on it, from practical things like contact info - to goofy stuff, but since this was being bought for filmmaking (a tool for filmmaking) i decided to quote myself.
"better human beings make better films"
it's been an amazing experience and certain decisions about how i have approached this film project have proven to be filled with incredible benefits. i have been discussing some of these benefits with other filmmakers and friends lately. one key decision about this project was that it would be a non-profit project and also that i wouldn't even recover my expenses. this has resulted in an incredible willingness on the part of others to collaborate. perhaps the most significant benefit from a financial perspective. this in turn of course is making a far better film another great benefit - but beyond all this is that i have become a far better human being, much more action in all i do. i have always been fairly aware but now i'm actively engaged in change. the desire to do has always been there just not much real doing.
so this is the biggest benefit - self improvement. i now know that all the films i do going forward will be better then they would have otherwise been because i'm better. it'll effect everything from the topics i chose to make films about to how i handle profits to how i handle the topics themselves - all these things will be better... i hope this won't come off as bragging or pride, it's not that... it's actually humbling because it comes with the recognition that i'm very late to this realization :(
and in a bigger view - better human beings make better anythings :)
better human beings make better vets, better firemen, better bankers, better doctors, better mothers, better anythings!
"better human beings make better films"
it's been an amazing experience and certain decisions about how i have approached this film project have proven to be filled with incredible benefits. i have been discussing some of these benefits with other filmmakers and friends lately. one key decision about this project was that it would be a non-profit project and also that i wouldn't even recover my expenses. this has resulted in an incredible willingness on the part of others to collaborate. perhaps the most significant benefit from a financial perspective. this in turn of course is making a far better film another great benefit - but beyond all this is that i have become a far better human being, much more action in all i do. i have always been fairly aware but now i'm actively engaged in change. the desire to do has always been there just not much real doing.
so this is the biggest benefit - self improvement. i now know that all the films i do going forward will be better then they would have otherwise been because i'm better. it'll effect everything from the topics i chose to make films about to how i handle profits to how i handle the topics themselves - all these things will be better... i hope this won't come off as bragging or pride, it's not that... it's actually humbling because it comes with the recognition that i'm very late to this realization :(
and in a bigger view - better human beings make better anythings :)
better human beings make better vets, better firemen, better bankers, better doctors, better mothers, better anythings!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
live everyday as if it were your last - my blog.
i made a silly comment to a coworker, we were both off for lunch and i told him he should enjoy his lunch because it may be his last. - of course i was just trying to be funny but then it stuck with me - i was on my way to starbucks, were i'd have a coffee for lunch. so the first thing that i had to question was would i go to starbucks if i knew it was my last lunch? coffee for lunch? what about chesters? well i didn't have to think about this one for too long - i'd go to starbucks, because i have friends their :)
besides when it comes to living like everyday is your last can you really apply that notion to eating? without gaining a lot of weight? i think not. beyond lunch or what to eat if i knew toady was my last day i realized that there are a myriad of practical things i need to address. this is valuable. because so much of "this stuff" i should give some serious thought to and really get things in order. like now.
first would be that while i'm not giving as much to chazon as i hope to, i'd have to move quickly to address this after i'm gone. it'd be a quick phone call to my mom i'm thinking, i'd need to get her access to my account, (online or my brother) to be sure that my current rate of giving is maintained, that nancy is maintained, that others who are giving and using the card as a conduit will get all the new contact info. etc. that my brother or mom would understand the process and pick up where i'd be leaving off.
i have an inheritance coming and i'd need to be sure that a share of that would also go to my friends in africa (again a simple call to my mom) - but the details of that and how it might take shape are fairly complicated. but i trust her, if all the details were not worked out at least she'd get the spirit of want i'd want and see that it was carried thru.
i don't have a will yet - eeeekkkk - i don't know what to do here. i think there are some issues or things i'd at least write down - i'd send an email to everyone it would effect and copy all of them - legal? binding? maybe not but in short notice it would be better then nothing.
then there are the websites i'm maintaing the account passwords - these could not lapse - i have all the details and info about these documented by who would i send them too? mom again? i'm not sure. i don't want the sites to go down. they affect the organizations ability to attract volunteers and also to sustain their operations. this would be a priority on my last day. paul krause would be given control. i feel good about that, my mom would be given the financial details and told to send paul a check several times a year. this would take some time to detail out also. paul could work out a contribute process (if he wanted to). paul designed the chazon site. and i know he'd do this, it'd be a major commitment, but he'd do it - it's a comfort.
then there's the film... someone would need to finish the film. OMG - this would be hard to figure out. i'd need to find someone who knows how to use the software, someone who also has the passion for the kids and the organizations, someone who'd be willing to put in the time. there would be all the logistical aspects of this. all my equipment would need to go to "whoever", the monitors, the laptop, all the hard drives (18 of them), i'd need to prep all the files (organize all the files) so that someone could find them. i'd need to leave a little creative brief or something about my vision for the film, i'd need to get someone to agree to all of this. this could easily take the rest of my "last day". what's worse right now is i can't think of anyone who has all the needed skills, the passion and the time.
i'd have to pick someone though. i think john house would be an option. he'd know what he was doing, should have the passion, might have the time. he's the only one who might have all three, i'd call him first. after him - it would be jarka or iraxte, both would have the passion. beyond that - i don't know... hahahaha they'd have a lot to learn.
i would also need to say goodbye to everyone, it's amazing to really think about this. saying goodbye is pretty important but way down on the priority list. it was a good mental exercise to go through. i'm involved with some stuff now that really requires a plan. most of what is on this list could be done well in advance. it's funny because it isn't things like going to see the "northern lights for the first time" or the dreamy stuff you'd hope to do - when i really think about it it's a tone of practical stuff. ok i need to really get these issues planed out agreed to by the folks mentioned and maybe after i get all these things in order i'll rethink what that last day could otherwise look like :)
besides when it comes to living like everyday is your last can you really apply that notion to eating? without gaining a lot of weight? i think not. beyond lunch or what to eat if i knew toady was my last day i realized that there are a myriad of practical things i need to address. this is valuable. because so much of "this stuff" i should give some serious thought to and really get things in order. like now.
first would be that while i'm not giving as much to chazon as i hope to, i'd have to move quickly to address this after i'm gone. it'd be a quick phone call to my mom i'm thinking, i'd need to get her access to my account, (online or my brother) to be sure that my current rate of giving is maintained, that nancy is maintained, that others who are giving and using the card as a conduit will get all the new contact info. etc. that my brother or mom would understand the process and pick up where i'd be leaving off.
i have an inheritance coming and i'd need to be sure that a share of that would also go to my friends in africa (again a simple call to my mom) - but the details of that and how it might take shape are fairly complicated. but i trust her, if all the details were not worked out at least she'd get the spirit of want i'd want and see that it was carried thru.
i don't have a will yet - eeeekkkk - i don't know what to do here. i think there are some issues or things i'd at least write down - i'd send an email to everyone it would effect and copy all of them - legal? binding? maybe not but in short notice it would be better then nothing.
then there are the websites i'm maintaing the account passwords - these could not lapse - i have all the details and info about these documented by who would i send them too? mom again? i'm not sure. i don't want the sites to go down. they affect the organizations ability to attract volunteers and also to sustain their operations. this would be a priority on my last day. paul krause would be given control. i feel good about that, my mom would be given the financial details and told to send paul a check several times a year. this would take some time to detail out also. paul could work out a contribute process (if he wanted to). paul designed the chazon site. and i know he'd do this, it'd be a major commitment, but he'd do it - it's a comfort.
then there's the film... someone would need to finish the film. OMG - this would be hard to figure out. i'd need to find someone who knows how to use the software, someone who also has the passion for the kids and the organizations, someone who'd be willing to put in the time. there would be all the logistical aspects of this. all my equipment would need to go to "whoever", the monitors, the laptop, all the hard drives (18 of them), i'd need to prep all the files (organize all the files) so that someone could find them. i'd need to leave a little creative brief or something about my vision for the film, i'd need to get someone to agree to all of this. this could easily take the rest of my "last day". what's worse right now is i can't think of anyone who has all the needed skills, the passion and the time.
i'd have to pick someone though. i think john house would be an option. he'd know what he was doing, should have the passion, might have the time. he's the only one who might have all three, i'd call him first. after him - it would be jarka or iraxte, both would have the passion. beyond that - i don't know... hahahaha they'd have a lot to learn.
i would also need to say goodbye to everyone, it's amazing to really think about this. saying goodbye is pretty important but way down on the priority list. it was a good mental exercise to go through. i'm involved with some stuff now that really requires a plan. most of what is on this list could be done well in advance. it's funny because it isn't things like going to see the "northern lights for the first time" or the dreamy stuff you'd hope to do - when i really think about it it's a tone of practical stuff. ok i need to really get these issues planed out agreed to by the folks mentioned and maybe after i get all these things in order i'll rethink what that last day could otherwise look like :)
Sunday, March 13, 2011
editing the film :)
it's a nightmare - the file management aspects of a full-length film. i thought today might be the real start - nope! i'm going attempt to get the files organized instead.
Friday, March 4, 2011
July 16th 2008 - DAY's FOUR/FIVE, Jounal-Molo, Kenya
Today was a great day. And yet I’m still a little shaken from yesterday. We are staying in down town Molo. Molo is a very busy little town with many people walking around and engaged in one business or another. The police are present (wearing the same uniforms and carrying the same guns) and I walk near them regularly. It makes me nervous. They call us Mazungo’s which in Kiswahili means white men. We started the day with breakfast and I had two bananas and three cups of African tea. I love the tea and have not been missing my soda at all nor my coffee.
The day began with an introductory meeting with myself, Jordi and Lucy. She was very thorough and covered many practical and some very emotional ground. From the rules of the house to the death of her second son, to the founding of the Chazon Children’s Centre and the church they run. Her and Samuel have made incredible sacrifices to do something great for others, they are truly examples of the finest the earth has to offer in the human form.
After the meeting. Lucy walked us around the town we were shown many things - and Lucy has many friends within Molo. We were shown the internet cafe and the supermarket and much, much more. We then hopped on a matatu for a quick ride to the CCC. It doesn’t take you all the way there - rather it leaves you a ten minute up hill walk. Not so bad for me though, it’s nothing since I’m now in shape. Without the weight loss I could have never made this trip. Let alone endured some of the physical challenges I’m currently facing.
We finally arrived at Chazon. I got to meet the kids for the first time and they are spectacular and they ran to greet Jordi and I and we did our best with some newly acquired words in Kiswahili. Their English was fair, we were shaking hands and asking names and even after these spontaneous, glorious introductions were made the children kept coming! Introducing themselves and falling back, but then pushing forward again just to do it again. If nothing of greater significance results from this trip it will not matter, this alone will have been worth it.
Jordi and I stayed and got to play a little with the kids and we met the rest of the staff, we got a tour of the grounds and buildings. In the back of the school building was a large pile of sand. It was purchased with some of the money I gave. It will be used sometime in August to create a cement floor for one or two classrooms. They are hoping I will still be here to help lay the floors, I also hope to be around when that happens. We came back via matatu it’s a very short ride and just 20 shillings. Then the four of us mazungo’s walked to Lucy’s house and met Jemimah. Jemimah is Lucy’s little girl and so incredible - she’s a promise of God and a miracle too. I won’t go into the story right now but it will likely be in the documentary. We have an early morning departure as tomorrow we will be traveling to Nakuru to purchase text books for the school.
Jordi has brought 12,000 shillings from friends for this purpose. I offered 2,000 more and the two Katties went apart from us to purchase story books - I don’t know how much they spent. I shot many photos of this trip. I purchased a very good point and click camera for the Watoto Wa Barka group and because my Nikon lens is more for close-ups I decided to borrow Geoffrey’s camera in advance - I’m pretty sure he will not mind.
It was a good day over-all. It started early for me as I awoke at 1:30 in the morning. Many thoughts were going through my mind. And I couldn’t sleep. I have to admit that I’m being paranoid but I have had an unending fear that at some point all my equipment will be stolen and all will be lost. This was not helped by the kidnapping. I was asking God why am I here? This is beyond fear - I don’t know how to say this - I was ABSOLUTELY certain I would not be coming back with my stuff. Again the stuff was replaceable - the project and the film (that depended on the stuff) - was not. Why am I here?
If the photos I have been taking are gone - if the notes are gone - if the footage I’m shooting is gone - there would be no website - no film - no reason to be here. WHY AM I HERE? I got an answer. He told me I was here to preach. Not the answer I wanted, but in fact if I were to preach (and I lost everything else) the other stuff wouldn't matter. Where am I too preach? What to preach? I already knew that. It’s the subject of my 5th film (I’m only currently working on films 1 and 2).
It’s a complicated study of the bible and churches and their varied opinions about the bible vs. the reality I know (that of knowing God). Laying there I thought even though I’m not prepared to start that film the content of it could be delivered as a sermon. What to preach was clear, but where? It was a comfort to believe this was the REAL reason for being here. I have not preached in a church since 1992. I'M NOT A PREACHER, I’m an artist and where to preach (in the streets?). I got to sleep.
The following morning - first thing when I got in the car with Lucy (on our way to Nakuru) Lucy asks if I have ever preached and would I consider preaching in two weeks at her church. WOW! What and where are settled. I'll be preaching in an Black Penticostal Church in Kenya.
So now I will be preaching in two weeks. I had previously sent notes on the thoughts behind all this to Jarka (a close friend from the Slovak Republic, an IV currently at WWB) and so I hope I will be able to find them in my old Gmail sent items and this should allow me to do a halfway decent job. Lucy and I talked for sometime when we returned from Nakuru about the film, the web site and God - we are clearly all three on the same page. I’m going to church with Lucy and Samuel tomorrow.
The day began with an introductory meeting with myself, Jordi and Lucy. She was very thorough and covered many practical and some very emotional ground. From the rules of the house to the death of her second son, to the founding of the Chazon Children’s Centre and the church they run. Her and Samuel have made incredible sacrifices to do something great for others, they are truly examples of the finest the earth has to offer in the human form.
After the meeting. Lucy walked us around the town we were shown many things - and Lucy has many friends within Molo. We were shown the internet cafe and the supermarket and much, much more. We then hopped on a matatu for a quick ride to the CCC. It doesn’t take you all the way there - rather it leaves you a ten minute up hill walk. Not so bad for me though, it’s nothing since I’m now in shape. Without the weight loss I could have never made this trip. Let alone endured some of the physical challenges I’m currently facing.
We finally arrived at Chazon. I got to meet the kids for the first time and they are spectacular and they ran to greet Jordi and I and we did our best with some newly acquired words in Kiswahili. Their English was fair, we were shaking hands and asking names and even after these spontaneous, glorious introductions were made the children kept coming! Introducing themselves and falling back, but then pushing forward again just to do it again. If nothing of greater significance results from this trip it will not matter, this alone will have been worth it.
Jordi and I stayed and got to play a little with the kids and we met the rest of the staff, we got a tour of the grounds and buildings. In the back of the school building was a large pile of sand. It was purchased with some of the money I gave. It will be used sometime in August to create a cement floor for one or two classrooms. They are hoping I will still be here to help lay the floors, I also hope to be around when that happens. We came back via matatu it’s a very short ride and just 20 shillings. Then the four of us mazungo’s walked to Lucy’s house and met Jemimah. Jemimah is Lucy’s little girl and so incredible - she’s a promise of God and a miracle too. I won’t go into the story right now but it will likely be in the documentary. We have an early morning departure as tomorrow we will be traveling to Nakuru to purchase text books for the school.
Jordi has brought 12,000 shillings from friends for this purpose. I offered 2,000 more and the two Katties went apart from us to purchase story books - I don’t know how much they spent. I shot many photos of this trip. I purchased a very good point and click camera for the Watoto Wa Barka group and because my Nikon lens is more for close-ups I decided to borrow Geoffrey’s camera in advance - I’m pretty sure he will not mind.
It was a good day over-all. It started early for me as I awoke at 1:30 in the morning. Many thoughts were going through my mind. And I couldn’t sleep. I have to admit that I’m being paranoid but I have had an unending fear that at some point all my equipment will be stolen and all will be lost. This was not helped by the kidnapping. I was asking God why am I here? This is beyond fear - I don’t know how to say this - I was ABSOLUTELY certain I would not be coming back with my stuff. Again the stuff was replaceable - the project and the film (that depended on the stuff) - was not. Why am I here?
If the photos I have been taking are gone - if the notes are gone - if the footage I’m shooting is gone - there would be no website - no film - no reason to be here. WHY AM I HERE? I got an answer. He told me I was here to preach. Not the answer I wanted, but in fact if I were to preach (and I lost everything else) the other stuff wouldn't matter. Where am I too preach? What to preach? I already knew that. It’s the subject of my 5th film (I’m only currently working on films 1 and 2).
It’s a complicated study of the bible and churches and their varied opinions about the bible vs. the reality I know (that of knowing God). Laying there I thought even though I’m not prepared to start that film the content of it could be delivered as a sermon. What to preach was clear, but where? It was a comfort to believe this was the REAL reason for being here. I have not preached in a church since 1992. I'M NOT A PREACHER, I’m an artist and where to preach (in the streets?). I got to sleep.
The following morning - first thing when I got in the car with Lucy (on our way to Nakuru) Lucy asks if I have ever preached and would I consider preaching in two weeks at her church. WOW! What and where are settled. I'll be preaching in an Black Penticostal Church in Kenya.
So now I will be preaching in two weeks. I had previously sent notes on the thoughts behind all this to Jarka (a close friend from the Slovak Republic, an IV currently at WWB) and so I hope I will be able to find them in my old Gmail sent items and this should allow me to do a halfway decent job. Lucy and I talked for sometime when we returned from Nakuru about the film, the web site and God - we are clearly all three on the same page. I’m going to church with Lucy and Samuel tomorrow.
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